Favorite Quotes from Shows
"Some all-but-forgotten bowed instruments from centuries ago produce sounds so ghastly and aggressive that it's easy to understand why they may not generate much revenue for their makers."
-- Washington Post, July 1, 2001.
Regarding "Unprofitable Instruments"
- "Like most of them, right?"
- "Truth in advertising"
- "I'm sorry"
- "The only honest name in the whole place."
- "Where's your tin can?"
- "It's nice of you to come all the way out here to entertain us."
- "That's pessimistic."
- "There's a hole in them where the money runs out."
- "I love Unprofitable Instruments. It's really evocative."
- "I think you should call your company 'Cheap at twice the price'"
- "That's the best name for a business that I've ever seen!"
Regarding the Trumpet Marine
- "No home should be without one."
- "Can I hear some more?"
- "Thank you for those happy chills you just gave me."
- "It sounds like a wounded rhinoceros."
- "I was hoping you'd bring it."
- "It's not as bad as a didjeridu."
- "I think you need to work on your embouchure."
- "When you play it, it sounds like a trumpet. When I play it, it sounds like rearranging furniture."
- "It's just as ghastly as my music history teacher used to say."
"Would you like to hear me play it?" "I have."